Killing time.

Sitting here – listening to a YouTube channel in the background. One of the known LawTubers .. killing time until I am heading out for a bit. 

I normally don’t go out on weekends. Especially with the pandemic. Welll except for the Seattle trip. Other than that, I tend to stay home and not go far. A “house mouse” if you will. (Or this was something a friend used to call me.. ha!). I just made a plan today and am going to go do it! XD .. No, it’s not a cemetery walk. Although I will be doing that soon, as I would love to wander through in the Fall. 

Just making sure my clothes are dry before I head out. That, and timing! Trying to not be out for too long. Wanting to go down, maybe hang around for a bit – do what I plan on doing, then come back. I just .. ever since the pandemic? My anxiety in crowds is just too much. I wish I was kidding.  When I was in Seattle – soon as I was too close to a crowd.. omg. The sweating. The anxiety. I would either have to sit down to calm myself – or leave. I mean I really don’t want COVID to be honest. BUT .. I do want to go out. If that makes sense.

It’s so frustrating!

So this time what I am doing is bringing a change of clothes. That way if the anxiety hits? I have a backup plan 🙂 .. I mean I only plan on being gone for a few hours today if that. I will explain what I am doing today, once it’s done! But yeah.

I am I’ll be honest – this week was SO busy. SO full of .. stuff. Not me personally, no. I also have been dealing with sleep issues,  due to what is commonly referred to as painsomnia. It fucking sucks, let’s face facts. I have been in so much pain – but still having to function. It’s rough, it really is. I just want to have a day or two – where I can let the pain take control. Slow me down, and let me focus on myself. Nope – it doesn’t happen. Pain be damned, I still have to be responsible. 

I get to a point where the pain is intense. It’s something you work with, or rather learn to deal with .. It’s horrible. Okay slight vent here. (And please note, this vent is MY experience with the BC Medical System. Another’s experience may be completely different than my own.). Doctors are being overworked. Or put under pressure big time due to the pandemic. People are running out of the medical connection. If they do have pain – they are questioned consistently. Doctors are being worked out and made thin that more are retiring or leaving BC. There are doctors who are still working who should have retired years ago.  It’s horrible.  People who struggle with pain – have not many options. Hence – the opiod pandemic? People are dying because they can’t get access to suitable medical treatment. People who should not have died. It’s been all over the news as of late.

Those who didn’t struggle before? Are struggling now. It’s ridic. 

Okay, I need to end my vent there – because if I keep going my blog will be all venty-like. Eff that noise.

Trying to plan what I am going to wear today. I don’t want to wear anything which will trigger sweating or anxiety. I have a few stops to go before I head home. 

I was looking for something last night. Ended up doing a deep dive into my closet .. and a huge pile of heavy books fell on top of my head. Man, did I have one hell of a headache for a few hours last night. It settled down, thankfully. Had a small bump, but nothing major. I waited for several hours after until I went to bed, just to make sure. I was going to call 8-1-1 , but I had no dizziness, no over tiredness, and nothing else aside from the headache. Note to self – careful of those books, they don’t tickle 😛

I tore my closet right apart last night.. put everything away. The closet reminded myself that yet again, my home needs a dire de-clutter. We have so much shit here that could go. I just need a long bit of time to do so. I have a week off in October – so what I might do is take some time for me, and then some time for declutter. I will try. 

So after tearing apart my closet.. I realized the item I was looking for? Was in the effin’ hallway closet. The whole time. THE WHOLE TIME. So I could have avoided the entire closet thing. Ah well. I found some things I completely forgot I had (yes, there is that much shit in there which I need to declutter!) .. I also found my missing necklace.

I bought this necklace ages ago from a coworker way back when. It has charms which remind me of the kids and I. I normally take it when I travel, to keep the kids close to me. But when I went to Seattle this past time, I could not find it.

Well last night, I found it. The necklace was sitting in a place I completely spaced on. So there’s that. Normally I put it in my top dresser drawer when I put it away. This time I had stuffed it in a blue Stitch desk holder thingy.. I must’ve put it there in 2019, and forgot about it. I normally stuff it someplace safe IE the above. LOL. Silly me. But now I have it, and I will be wearing it today (reasons!)

So .. another thing. Back a year or so ago? The kids and I got completely into Xmondo hair color. He says the color repairs your hair. To be honest? It washed out way too fast for the cost it is. Granted I bought several containers of it, so we will use it. The shampoo and conditioner though caused hair loss for me. At first, it worked amazingly well on my hair. Slowly but surely, I noticed my hair falling out. Thankfully I stopped using the product, and my hair stopped falling out in clumps. 

I bought some Splatt dye because I wanted a fresh color. It brightened the living heck out of my hair, without bleach@ It legit says on the box it is FOR brown hair! My hair is so bright yay! 🙂 Hopefully this lasts way longer than Xmondo. This stuff is semi-permanent, and doesn’t damage your hair. that and it smells NICE. Will be buying this again. I will admit though, my hair has never fully returned since all of these thyroid issues hit.

Speaking of thyroid issues.. I was thinking about this last night. I was diagnosed with Hasimoto’s and Graves Disease. Medically I’m a fucking mess. I mean neither one cause issues all of the time. I do suffer with sleep issues and such. I do have flare ups (and I can tell – the way my body goes BIIITCH) .. but you know. I was thinking about this. If I do flare up again to the point of hospitalization (I hope not!) .. what would truly happen? With all of the specialists backed up and such? 

This week.. was busy. Busy and crazy.  The chronic pain was intense. 

Trying to get the motivation to get up and moving. As I do need to head out soon! 🙂  

Another thing I worry about? The food status. More and more things are going out of stock. Or triple the price. Like the majority of times now, if I go to order groceries, there are  things which are out of stock. Or they jack up the price. For example – I ordered a pile of groceries last night. The majority of the items were sold out. Like cream cheese for example? Is Foamy stocking up on our cream cheese? According to Save on, they haven’t had cream cheese in weeks.  For real!

They also don’t keep garbage bags, or yogurt in stock. I am also hearing that infant tylenol is also out of stock. It’s crazy out there. Not that I need Infant tylenol, but I know others who use it. So with our gov’t, if our prices aren’t sky high, there isn’t stock. So you’ll go hungry if you don’t have enough money, or can never buy it.

I wonder how people on PWD or Disability survive. the costs are a nightmare. Even for a person who is working. After paying bills and rent – food bills going sky high.. like how do people fully survive?

Another rant for another day. 🙂

Okay, I need to get my butt moving and slowly get out the door. I am looking forward to going out. Not looking forward to the crowds, or people who are unmasked.

OH.. another quick rant. I wear a mask to protect myself. If you don’t like wearing masks? That’s your choice. but giving dirty looks, making comments or rolling your eyes is not necessary.

Okay, out!