I sat here a few days ago and wrote a huge, lengthy post. Woke up and the draft/entire post was gone. No back up. Nothing – just *poof*.
Not entirely sure what happened. That – and the same day FFXIV crashed. Yeah – my horoscope also descripted that I would have tech issues that day. Weird, isn’t it? I think so.
Kind of bummed actually. As I had written everything on my mind at the time.. Now – out into the tech void. C’est la vie.
I had a really shitty time sleeping last night. Anxiety decided to run through my mind last night .. and wouldn’t shut the hell up. No matter what I tried. Nope, nothing. Finally was able to settle 90 minutes later.
Drifted into this – all I will describe is, wonderful dream. I really didn’t want to wake up – My mind kept saying “stay here as long as you can”. Ever had a dream like that? It’s like, I didn’t want to leave this feeling. If that makes any sense. Sidenote – I am exhausted from the shitty sleep so – I may make no sense.
I remember the dream to the T. It was almost like it was sent to me as a “just relax, woman!” .. I wanted to hold onto that feeling as long as I possibly could today. Seriously – I held onto that feeling for the majority of the day. I know it seems silly to hold onto a “dream”.. As you know – dreams are just something your mind does. Right? Or wait.. “Dreams are stories and images that our minds create while we sleep. They can be entertaining, fun, romantic, disturbing, frightening, and sometimes bizarre.” .. You’re right, this dream was a story, image which was entertaining. That’s all I will advise about it. But – it was -nice-. It was nice.
Hopefully tonight I sleep – or more than I did last night. I hope I hope!
The anxiety just has been up and down as of late. I think the pain as well. Up and down like a teeter totter. It’s so weird. I kind of have a feeling as to why it’s happening. I won’t go into specifics. I think it’s just leftovers from all of the stuff in the past few months.
I need another cemetery walk – STAT. I do. This will happen sometime soon. When it’s a nice day. 🙂
I made myself go downtown last weekend. Ran a few errands. My anxiety was up super high being down there – not going to lie. So many people so close to one another. Hardly any masks. Not me – I was masked up. Sweating buckets (I am on a hyperthyroid flare right now.. I can tell. ) and yeah. Grabbed a bubble tea, then headed home. I tried to keep to myself as much as possible, aside from the small purchases I made. I also forgot how stuffy and hot MEC is. That building always set me off sweat wise. I don’t know what it is? Like I had my hoodie on and a tank top – and I still came out of there sweating buckets.
I know this sounds silly.. but I ordered myself a new bra online. (Really didn’t want to go into a store) .. they shipped it in a -very- large box. Why? Like why not just place it in a mailer? It’s a bra .. I doubt it would break. 😛 It’s from a company who says they are “environmentally friendly..” Shipping a bra in a box? 😛 No.. It just seems silly . I’m not complaining about it – it just seems like a huge waste of cardboard.
Sat here tonight and to kill time, went through all of my dresser drawers. Recycled a whole shit ton of paper. 🙂 I have a note to myself to slowly de-clutter the rest of the house. It’s going to happen in June. D’s room, hallways – laundry room, bathroom and kitchen. My room as well. All of it will be de-cluttered. Even if I have to take the time. (I have two borked shoulders which sometimes slow me down..) I plan on buying bins and putting them in D’s closet. One thing at a time. I do plan on eventually renting a steam cleaner and buying some paint. But sometime in the future. Soon though, as it needs to be done.
Spent a bit of time at the dentist a few days ago. four cavities – YIKES. But they allowed me to watch A Knights Tale while drilling. Thank the gods!
Oh.. and I finally am seeing my normal natural hair color. I have had people ask me if this is dyed. Nope. Well, not at the moment. It will be soon! I have to fix it. I used to go years back in the day, without dying my hair. Now I like to have fun with it. Even though my hair is fried to shit, I still like dying it. I mean it’s hair right? Right.
I told my siblings yesterday that I feel like a ghost. Especially when it comes to our mother. People who are close to me understand this. It’s okay though, I have accepted this. Only writing about it to get it out of my head before I go to bed. Or I seriously won’t sleep.
Someone I know advised me that you can go to the US, to get the next COVID booster. I mean hell, I’d be up for that if necessary. My only issue with that of course is this. Would the Canadian gov’t accept the record from the US? I did a Google search (take it as you will!) and there are thousands of Canadians going to the US. Why? The BC Gov’t is toying around when you should or IF you should get a booster. People are frustrated. I am not saying this in the way I feel , no. Others are saying this because they are frustrated. I understand it. In the US – they recommend a booster after four months (sidenote, this is from a quick Google search!) .. BC is 6 months IF and IF you’re the age you should have it. I mean on the flipside to this – US is telling Americans to come here to get medication, as it’s cheaper? So yeah. I just don’t know. I wish things regarding to COVID and meds were the same across the board. Again, writing this completely exhausted and needing sleep.
Finally bought some black nail polish and am going to polish up these toes! Needed, necessary. 🙂
If this post disappears come tomorrow morning, I am seriously not going to be impressed. Sending “do not disappear” vibes to WordPress. (given this is hosted on my domain..it should not disappear!)